A former Headmaster has written a thought-provoking book exploring the question of how people of faith cope when a loved one is dying.
David Raynor, who was Headmaster of Scarisbrick Hall School near Southport, penned the moving work after his beloved wife, Gwen, was diagnosed with Motor Neurone Disease (MND). MND slowly shuts down communication from the brain to the muscles; in Gwen’s case, she was eventually unable to speak, eat or drink.
He cared for her as her condition worsened before she died in Queenscourt Hospice during the Covid-19 pandemic.
The couple had been married for 47 years.
And while dad-of-two and grandfather-of-six David is grateful for everything that life as a Christian has given him he has had to deal with the question: How do you square the diagnosis of a terminal disease with an awareness of a God who heals?
It is an issue he explores in his new book, ‘Coming Through The Valley’, which he hopes will help others who face a similar situation.
David, who was 80 years old in June last year, said: “It started off as a journal, where I was initially logging all of Gwen’s significant moments, and has since been edited and has now been published as a book.
“I wanted to be able to balance the reality of Gwen’s deteriorating condition with our faith in a God who heals.
“All the way through I was reading Scriptures that prompted the age old question – if God can heal, why doesn’t he heal everyone?
“In the book I came to the conclusion that I don’t need to have all the answers.
“I need to keep trusting a good, caring God.
“It’s an important question for the families of people suffering incurable conditions. How do you deal with that?”
David’s wife, Gwen, was diagnosed with Motor Neurone Disease in July 2018,
He began writing a journal. Initially, it was personal, as a kind of therapy. He wanted to chart the progress of the incurable disease and to log Scriptures that shed light on what was happening.
The couple married in April 1973 and were married for nearly half a century until Gwen’s tragic death on 5th December 2020.
David and Gwen were among the founder members of Southport Community Church in 1983; he was an elder of the church for a number of years, has led Alpha courses and served in the church’s Healing Rooms ministry. He still preaches, teaches, and sings in the worship team.
David said: “Gwen died during the early days of the pandemic.
“It was so difficult at the time. I couldn’t go inside the hospice with her.
“People could only visit outside, on the patio. She had to write things down so we could communicate with each other through the window.
“She was very well looked after in Queenscourt, they were wonderful.
“Gwen spent the last two weeks of her life in there.
“It was very much her choice of ‘departure lounge’.
“I was pleased to be able to hold her hand to say goodbye. I was surprised how composed I was at the end.
“We were married for 47 years – we had a long and happy marriage.
“We had a lot of things to be very grateful for.
“I have two adult sons; Tim, who lives in Penwortham, and John, who lives in Aughton, both of whom are teachers. Both are married, each with three children.
“When I wrote the book, I wasn’t sure if I was writing it for my boys or for a wider audience.
“I consulted a friend who is a published author, and he said ‘you must publish it!’
“A lot of people have been very complimentary about the book so I thought it might be helpful to people who found themselves in similar situations to the one that we did.
“‘Coming Through The Valley’ has been brought out by xulonpress, an American publisher, and the book is available via the Amazon website.”
David and his family are well regarded in the Southport area, with deep roots in the town, as well as many happy years spent teaching at Scarisbrick Hall School.
David said: “My family is very much Southport-based.
“My grandfather, Edgar Raynor, was a former Mayor of Southport in the 1940s, and was Chairman of Southport Football Club for 26 years. My Dad was also called Edgar. He ran the family fish and poultry business, initially with his father.
“I was initially at Scarisbrick Hall School as an English and Latin teacher.
“I was there for 30 years in all, the last 21 as the Headmaster.
“I never had any ambitions of being a headmaster. But I found it to be a great privilege.
“Scarisbrick Hall has been the home of an independent school since 1964. The Founder and Principal was Charles Oxley, who had already established his first independent school – Tower College in Rainhill – in 1948, and went on to establish a third – Hamilton College in Scotland – in 1983.
“Charles was so busy running three schools, as well as continuing his campaigning for moral standards in society, that he had to delegate, and he asked me to step in.
“My time there ended when we merged with Kingswood School.
“I had asked for early retirement two weeks before the merger was made known. It was good timing.
“My memories at the school are very happy ones. I have been writing a history of the school.
“It was put on hold by mutual agreement with the Directors just before the start of the Covid pandemic, while the school was having some major developments, but we hope to have it finished before long.”
- Coming Through The Valley by David Raynor is available through the Amazon website here. The Kindle edition costs £5.49 while the paperback edition costs £12.50.
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